BEANS: Missing Jag

The hat sat on Suzy's kitchen table, a constant reminder that her husband wasn't coming home anymore. Finally, she couldn't bear to look at it any longer. She took it outside and put it in the garbage can, just as the collection truck was approaching her house. She stood on her patio and watched the men climb out of the truck, collect the trash, and carry her husband's hat down the street with the rest of the waste. She walked back inside, and laid down for a nap.


Suzy had promised herself she'd be brave for the sake of her boys. The last thing Jag had said to her was for her to take care of their sons while he was gone. Although that was going to be longer than she has thought it would be, she wasn't about to let him down.

She picked up Chad and held him to her shoulder.

I love you Chad.

Daddy? Home?

Beans choked back the tears and forced herself to remain strong.

No Sweetie. Daddy's not home. He lives with the Angels now, remember?

She kissed him on the forehead and put him down on the floor, directing him towards one of his toys.


Then she walked over and picked up Chase.

Mommy cwying gain?

She held Chase out and looked at him. He looks so much like Jag.

No Sweetie. Mommy's not crying. Why don't you go play with your brother while Mommy takes a shower ok?

That night, after getting the boys bathed and in bed for the night, Suzy prepared to get into bed herself. She walked over and reached her hand out to grab the covers. Then she froze.

This was the bed that she had shared with Jag. This is where the boys were conceived. This is where they spent their last night together.


Suzy broke down in tears. Maybe she'd been trying to hold it all in too much. She let everything out as she stood in her room and sobbed.

Jag...why didn't you just stay here? Why wasn't I enough for you?

She thought about what life held for her now. A life of emptiness and loneliness. The boys would eventually grow up and move out and she would be alone. Alone. Something she thought she had wanted, but realized now that she was scared of.

She thought back to her childhood to the day her mother died. The day she was left alone. The first day that she heard, what her grandmother always called "The Gift". It was no gift to her, and she worked hard at blocking it out. She hadn't wanted to hear or see any of the people from the other side, until now. Maybe she could see Jag one more time.

No. No it would only hurt. It wouldn't be the same. I couldn't touch him or ... no. Just keep it turned off Suzy.

She put her hands over her face to muffle the sounds of her cries, afraid she was going to wake the boys up. That's when she felt it.

A hand touched her shoulder.


Go away! Leave me alone!

She yelled out to the empty air, hoping that whatever was manifesting itself would be able to hear her.


Suzanne. I'm right here.

No! No I don't want to see you like this. I want the real Jag. Go away!


The real Jag? Honey, I am the real Jag.

Please. I don't want to see these things again.

Suzanne. Look at me. It's me. Jag. I'm home.


Suzy looked up and saw Jag standing next to her. Still unsure if what she was seeing was real or not, she put her hands on his shoulder. When she realizes that she was feeling a live person, she gasped loudly.

JAG!

Hi Suzanne.

They said you were dead!

Dead? Ha. It takes more than a pipsqueak vampire, or three, to kill me off.


After a long and passionate kiss, mixed with a little bit of laughter and tears, she finally was able to ask the questions that were flowing through her mind.

Where have you been Jag? Do you realize how long it's been? You didn't even call me!

Whoa...slow down Suzanne. I pulled the job off - we managed to get the woman away from the vampire that kidnapped her, but I sent her fiance ahead to the airstrip with her, while I stayed back and fought the vampires.

Vampires? There was more than one?

Yeah. It turns out he had a brother and sister too.

Jag I don't think I want to hear this.

I understand. Basically, they went on ahead without me. I thought I could charter another plane out, but the border was shut down, so I had to find another way out of the country which took longer than I thought it would.

But...that guy. He had your hat. He said...

Ah. My hat. Yeah somebody swiped my hat and my wallet while I was sleeping one night. I woke up when they were trying to pull my boots off.

Oh. Ok well you still could have called me Jag. Everyone thinks your dead! Your brothers...we had a memorial service for you! Do you realize what that was like for us? For the boys?

I tried to call! Don't you answer the phone?

Oh. No actually I don't. I'm tired of hearing "I'm so sorry".


Suzanne.

Yeah?

I'm sorry that I left. I know you probably don't believe me, but I promise you that I'll never leave again.

I do believe you Jag. Want to know why?

Why?

Cause I threw your hat away.

Jag pulled his wife closer.

Good.


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